Body Image in Pregnancy
I thought I WASN'T LEAN ENOUGH. In the picture in the left I actually thought this and was on a diet to get leaner.
I was less than 20% body fat. If a client had come to me like this asking me to help her get leaner, I would have turned her down and told her to spend the money on a psychologist to sort her head out. - Ok, maybe not the last bit, but I wouldn't have trained her. - But I couldn't see it on myself. I could only see the bit of fat here and the disproportion there.
When does it end?
I don't know if you've noticed, but I rarely share selfies. I do take them though, as "progress pics" (I tell myself) I would KILL SOMEONE to look like that now. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying being pregnant, but I'm not enjoying watching my body change, get softer and grow, to the point where I feel self conscious when someone hasn't seen me for a while, and feel pretty crushed by comments about my body or belly (which is like every 5 seconds) "yes, I know it's kind of pointy, I'm so glad you pointed that out. Yes I'm sure it does look different to how yours looked" - Pregnancy really puts things in perspective and I'm sure some clever bugger will pipe up with "oh honey, just wait, you've got a lot longer to go". I know that. That's what's so scary. I know my body will change A LOT more.
I really want to and am trying really hard to enjoy it. I'm sure I will look back in a month or two and say "shit! I actually looked great! I wish I had appreciated it at the time". EDIT (Oct 2018) this absolutely happened. At 9 months I looked back at pictures and thought how small and cute the belly was, and how great I looked. Nothing prepares you for the huge belly you're carrying around at the end.
Hindsight is a bitch. And body image issues in pregnancy are real.
I don't really have an uplifting conclusion to this post, but if you're struggling with the changes too, know you're not alone. It's challenging to watch your body change.