Let Yourself be Postpartum

"I'm practicing self love", "I am body positive", "love yourself no matter your size" "I'm trying to accept my body just as it is" "Fuck the scales!" . ... said the woman on Instagram who has a six pack, airbrushed skin and and 3% body fat who eats a clean diet, works out for 2 hours every day and never slips up. . It's easy to feel good in the skin you're in when you look like a supermodel. But you don't get to tell others about how you have never been more confident and you are practicing self love though. . Can you love yourself though when you don't look your best? Can you feel good about yourself when you don't actually look that good?

This is me one week postpartum, after getting home from the hospital . Like when you're 2 weeks postpartum and look 6 months preggo (but a bit saggier)?

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When you feel like you've been hit by a truck and you look a bit like a pregnant old lady?

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When you're tired, run down, puffy, stretched out, in pain, swollen and squidgy? . Can you feel OK about your body? Can you not feel shame about your belly? Can you talk to yourself kindly? Can you just be in this postpartum body?

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You don't even need to feel good about it - just observe it. See it. And not freak out. Can you remove the charged emotions? Can you notice the discomfort and longing for something else? Can you observe that sinking twinge of "fuck, what have I done?!" That fear that it will be this way forever, that you have ruined your body?

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Because it can be hard to see yourself like that. If you had a c-section, seeing the scar for the first time can be very scary. Seeing stretch marks that you didn't know you had can feel crushing.

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Every woman goes through this on some level. . It doesn't mean that you have to accept that it will always be this way, that this is the new norm. You're allowed to not always want this body, but can you be OK with it being what it is now, while knowing that one day you want it to look different? Can you feel confident while feeling motivated to change? Can you be patient? Can you know that this is just temporary? Can you just accept that after giving birth you are supposed to still have a belly? . And can you sit with a body that you DON'T want before it's a sensible time to work towards change? Those first 4-6 weeks postpartum are about healing and recovery, and NOT about weight-loss or other aesthetic goals... can you be OK with that?

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**Although, there's a lot you can do to help your body heal in that time. . Can you see what value your body has other than it's appearance? Can you feel like a badass mother fucker for GROWING A HUMAN, pushing it out (or having it cut out) of you and keeping it alive (however you choose to feed)?

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Our mums didn't take pictures like these after giving birth and it is a cultural norm to hide our bodies under baggy clothes until we "get our body back". Most women won't agree to be in a photo, even with said baggy clothes on them. Look back at your family album - how many photos are there of your mum in the first few weeks postpartum?

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We're just not exposed to postpartum bodies. But the truth is, most women look pretty rough after giving birth! Even celebrities, we just don't see any of those images. We only see the "after" pictures". The result is that pretty much every woman in the history of the world feels like they are the only one that looks "this bad", and that is false.

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We don't have to sugar coat it, or put a positive spin on it. You don't have to tell yourself it's amazing and wonderful and beautiful. In my opinion, bypassing the topic and associated emotions like this is unhelpful and silly. We can call it what it is, be honest and candid about it. A lot of postpartum sucks. Your body will likely feel unrecognizable - but can you be OK with that? Can you refrain from labeling it neither good nor bad and just be?

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The fact of the matter is, even if you do nothing, it does get better, it is temporary. If you want to act